Strawberry Shortcakes

These are THE SHIT, bro.  I cringe when I see those little “shortcake” things that are like the shallowest bowl ever to put your strawberries in… ugh.  Mine won’t act like a bowl, but it is about 9000% more delicious, without being too sweet.  This is the recipe I always make for friends who don’t like desserts that are “too sweet” or “too rich” – this is just right for everyone.

Approximately. 😛

  • 1.5 c. flour
  • 1/4 c. sugar
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/3 c. cold butter
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • 1/2 c. dairy sour cream
  • 2 Tbs milk
  • 5 c. sliced strawberries
  • 3 Tbs sugar
  • (optional) whipped cream

Preheat oven to 400 F.  Lightly grease baking sheet; set aside.

Decide now if you want to use a pastry cutter (aka pastry blender, aka that thingy like a whisk had an affair with some brass knuckles) or an electric mixer, and subsequently whether you want to use a large mixing bowl or electric mixer bowl for the next step.

In the bowl you just decided to use, combine flour, 1/4 c. sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.  Incorporate butter in manner previously determined, until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

In small bowl, combine lightly beaten egg, sour cream, and milk.  Add to flour mixture; stir with fork until just moistened.

Drop dough into 8 large mounds on prepared baking sheet (you could make them smaller, I guess, but this way everyone gets one giant … scone blob thingy for themselves).  Bake in preheated oven for 12-15 minutes, or until edges become golden.  Transfer to wire rack and let cool.

Meanwhile, in large bowl, combine 4 c. strawberries and 3 Tbs sugar.  Using a potato masher, mash berries SLIGHTLY and set aside.

When ready to serve, halve shortcakes like you’re going to use it as a hamburger bun, and then put the strawberries inside like a raw, oozing hamburger of delicious sweetness.  Add whipped cream if you want to stretch this analogy to include “cheese” as “a sweeter and fluffier dairy product”.  Top with extra sliced strawberries if any remain.  Or don’t.  You’re the boss.

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Da Cherry Troll

In large saucepan, combine following ingredients and cook on low heat for about half an hour.  Remove from heat and set aside.

  • 3-4 c. halved, pitted sweet cherries (not maraschino)
  • 1/4 c. honey
  • 3 Tbs creme de cassis, or kirschwasser, or blackberry liqueur, or cloudberry liqueur… or grenadine would probably work if that’s all you’ve got
  • 3 Tbs chopped fresh ginger

Preheat oven to 375 F.  Mix the following ingredients in large mixing bowl (or stand mixer, but then you’ll have to wash it out).  Combine dry ingredients first, then fold in the butter until it’s as incorporated as possible.  Then press it into a pie pan and bake for 7 minutes.

  • 1.5 c. graham cracker crumbs
  • 1/2 c. crushed nuts (almond, pecan, walnut – your choice; if allergic to nuts, use another 1/2 c. graham cracker crumbs instead)
  • 1/3 c. brown sugar
  • 3 tsp cinnamon
  • 6 Tbs butter

In stand mixer, whip heavy cream until stiff.  Then add sugar and vanilla and re-whip until stiff peaks form.

  • 1 c. heavy whipping cream
  • 1/3 c. sugar
  • 1 tsp ++ vanilla

Spoon cherry filling over baked crust, leaving out most (not all) of the juice.  Top with whipped cream and refrigerate until everything sets.  Or stuff warm deliciousness into your face like your inner child demands; your call.

Source:  redditor DaTr0LL
http://www.reddit.com/r/recipes/comments/vyaxc/cherry_dessert_dont_know_what_to_call_it/

 

“Chunky Monkey” Pancakes

This is the other pancake recipe from caramelpotatoes.com that I want to try.  While the mint one will probably be good, this one will definitely be good! 😀

  • 1 c. flour
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp salt

 

  • 3/4 c. milk
  • 3 Tbs butter, melted
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 Tbs sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 large banana, diced (plus more for garnish)
  • 1/3 c. mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1/4 c. chopped pecans (optional)

Combine dry ingredients (first section) in bowl of stand mixer.

In separate bowl, whisk milk, butter, eggs, sugar, and vanilla.

Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients.  Be careful not to over-mix the batter.

Gently fold in banana, chocolate chips, and nuts.

Heat large skillet / flat foreman grill / griddle over medium heat and coat with cooking spray or butter.

Pour 1/3 c. batter per pancake, cook until edges are brown and surface is bubbly.  Flip with spatula, cook until browned on the other side.  Repeat.

Source: http://www.caramelpotatoes.com/2013/06/03/chunky-monkey-pancakes/

I marked this as fructose-free, but bananas are not okay sometimes, so maybe don’t risk it…?   :/

Loopy Laura’s Luscious Bowl of Crazy

  • 1 large container PLAIN yogurt, not vanilla
  • 1 bag mini marshmallows
  • 1 large can crushed pineapple, drained (retain juice for something else)
  • FRUIT – whatever’s in season
    • cherries, pitted and halved
    • grapes, halved
    • strawberries, cut into bits
    • blueberries, whole
    • bananas, sliced
    • apples are okay, but not too much
  • NUTS (optional) – chopped pecans or cashew pieces

Mix everything in gargantuan bowl with giant spoon and maniacal laugh.  Allow to sit in refrigerator so the marshmallows start to dissolve into the yogurt, like sanity dissolves in the face of a road trip with … um … I’d rather not say her name too often in case it catches her attention and summons her to me.  Just in case.

Also, if you use Greek yogurt instead of regular yogurt, you can delude yourself into thinking that the Greek yogurt and fruit make this a totally healthy meal replacement! La la la la la….

Source:  … take a guess from the title

Banana Split Cake

~for crust~

  • 2 c. graham cracker crumbs
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, melted
  • 4 Tbs sugar

~for filling~

  • 2 8-oz. packages cream cheese, softened
  • 16 oz. powdered sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla (plus a splash)
  • 4-5 bananas, sliced
  • 1 large can crushed pineapple, drained
  • 1 large carton Cool Whip
  • 1 c. pecans, finely chopped
  • 1 small jar maraschino cherries, drained and halved

In medium bowl, mix graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and melted butter.  Press into 13×9″ pan, pressing slightly up the sides.  Chill 45 minutes or bake at 375 F for 6-8 minutes, then chill completely.

In bowl of stand mixer, combine soft cream cheese, powdered sugar, and vanilla.  Beat until smooth.  Spread over chilled crust.  Arrange bananas over cheese mixture.  Spread pineapple over bananas.  Spread Cool Whip over pineapple, then sprinkle with pecans and cherries.

Chill 2-3 hours before serving.

Source: ??  I think this may have come from the Spjust Cookbook I bought at the Old Czech Bakery in West, TX, but I’m not 100% positive…